Friday, October 31

Brain pills

A kid at school got hit in the head by a soccer ball after lunch and now he's acting like I did after I fell on my face last summer. This teacher is taking him around by the arm and if he lets go, the kid forgets what's going on and wanders away. He keeps asking what day it is. I think he might just be high. They're taking him now to get some pills. Brain pills, I assume.

Also, I need to have a costume ready in like 4 hours. Being in Korea makes this extremely difficult.

Beat of the day

Thursday, October 30

Brooklyn Brooklyn Brooklyn





The failing march of his predecessor

What if the whole world could vote? It looks like Obama would dominate. But Iraq goes to McCain? And I'm not suggesting that it's related, but Al-Qaida is also cheering for the old man. Apparently, they still don't give a fuck:
Al-Qaida supporters suggested in a Web site message this week they would welcome a pre-election terror attack on the U.S. as a way to usher in a McCain presidency.

The message, posted Monday on the password-protected al-Hesbah Web site, said if al-Qaida wants to exhaust the United States militarily and economically, "impetuous" Republican presidential candidate Sen. John McCain is the better choice because he is more likely to continue the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.

"This requires presence of an impetuous American leader such as McCain, who pledged to continue the war till the last American soldier," the message said. "Then, al-Qaida will have to support McCain in the coming elections so that he continues the failing march of his predecessor, Bush."

"If al-Qaida carries out a big operation against American interests," the message said, "this act will be support of McCain because it will push the Americans deliberately to vote for McCain so that he takes revenge for them against al-Qaida. Al-Qaida then will succeed in exhausting America till its last year in it."
Other things that happened this week:
Karl Rove was accosted on stage by a drunken hippie who tried to arrest him for treason.
and
Iran's quest to set a Guinness record for World's Longest Sandwich, a stunt meant to encourage Iranians to eat healthful meals, failed when spectators began consuming the sliced-ostrich-and-chicken sandwich before it could be measured.
and
50 banks received letters containing a white powder, warning “It's payback time."
and
A New York firefighter used an air-powered wizzer saw to cut off an inch-long steel pipe that was stuck to a 73-year-old man's penis.

Wednesday, October 29

1, 2, 3, 4

She makes me want to be in love. Or something. And apparently it has very little to do with what she sings about.

Email

Fletcher Hi ! I'm Ji-hyun :-)

I'm nerverous. Because my English skill is very low, this letter is very wrong sentence and grammar.

Then I find grammar and word for my letter.

Um, Fletcher I introduce myself :-D

My name is Ji-hyun Seo, Do you know it?

My birthday is October 10th and blood type is B.

Some people(Korean) said "Blood type B girls are bad." but never!

I'm not bad. I'm kind............Joke! :-)

My future dream is hotel manager.

So I study English very hard.

Past,I think English is easy. But now, English is difficult. Specially I difficult grammar.

Therefore you teach me many word, grammar and conversation, please. OK?

(Specially grammar........)

And, there are five members in my family : my dad, my mom, my younger sister, my younger brother and me.

My younger sister 16 years old. She is very smart and pretty more than me.

Then parents loves her. I envy my younger sister but....I love her too :-)

Next, I introduce my younger brother. My younger brother is 9 years old. Very very very cute!

Someday, I pick my cellular phone. Because my younger brother pictures in my cellular phone.

I love him more than my younger sister :-D Secret!

Please I will like to know more about you.

Wow long~~~~~~~~ :-)

Do you have question about me? Then next mail you write to me.

Have a nice day and please don't forget to write me back.

Good bye

Ideas like fish

swimming in bong water:

Forget Obama



I've spent my morning watching this. I love the one white kid. Thanks Heather. Fuck a dinosaur.

Tuesday, October 28

Ballpoint Pens

Don DeLillo, 25 years ago, explaining our current state of affairs:
Aboard the gliding craft, a stewardess crawled down the aisle, over bodies and debris, telling people in each row to remove their shoes, remove sharp objects from their pockets, assume a fetal position. At the other end of the plane, someone was wrestling with a flotation device. Certain elements in the crew had decided to pretend that it was not a crash but a crash landing that was seconds away. After all, the difference between the two is only one word. Didn't this suggest that the two forms of flight termination were more or less interchangeable? How much could one word matter? An encouraging question under the circumstances, if you didn't think about it too long, and there was no time to think right now. The basic difference between a crash and a crash landing seemed to be that you could sensibly prepare for a crash landing, which is exactly what they were trying to do. The news spread through the plane, the term was repeated in row after row. "Crash landing, crash landing." They saw how easy it was, by adding one word, to maintain a grip on the future, to extend it in consciousness if not in actual fact. They patted themselves for ballpoint pens, went fetal in their seats.

Life

People chill hard here. It's like medicine. If a teacher drinks too much the night before, he'll come in and announce that he's hungover and he'll sleep between his classes. I've started taking naps too. But I usually wake up with Korean kids standing over me and staring. Most days someone will bring in fruits or vegetables for us to eat between meals - lately it's mostly been sweet potatoes because they're being harvested now. So several times a day, someone heats up a couple sweet potatoes or arranges a few bunches of grapes on a plate and without much being said, we wander over to the big table in the back of the office. We eat and talk and laugh. And I realize sometimes that the gathering has become a party, all centered around yams on a paper plate and a plastic bag full of potato skin. After lunch, most of the teachers play badminton or ping pong until the next class starts. I usually play basketball, but today I had a badminton date with some women from my office. We played in a grassy area between the two buildings. It was windy and they laughed like children.

Built to Spill

covering MIA:



This is from a show they played Saturday, I think, in Rome. According to pitchfork, they played all of Perfect From Now On. They must be trying to redeem themselves after that miserable tour they played with the Meat Puppets. Remember how that sloppy asshole in sweatpants kept getting on stage to jam out on a whistle? And the band just whacked eachother off for the last 30 minutes of the show? And then drunk David stole Ben Hill's girl? I remember Marci eating her leftover burrito in protest of it all. Damn. I want some Juan's.

But really

Do you think Bush will ever explain what he was thinking when he groped Angela Merkel at that G8 Summit?

Sunday, October 26

Invisibility

I bought a bike yesterday. It kind of looks like that thing that Matt Herron used to ride around that had shocks on the front and the back and was about 250 lbs. It's a piece of shit and I paid too much for it. I don't care. It feels awesome to be riding again. Walking makes me uneasy, especially if it's a route that I've walked before. And I never know where to put my hands or if I should make eye contact with people. But bikes kind of make you invisible.

Today I went to a depressing American military town with my neighbor. I hate those places where the economy revolves around foreign money. All of a sudden all the locals speak better English than you and you have to watch old men sell their souls in the form of cheap Chinese toys on street corners. My neighbor took me to eat at a Mexican restaurant run by Thai women. And it was really good. But there were no 2 for 1 mimosas.

Friday, October 24

BONES AND ALL

A few weeks ago I drank with a crazy old professor at a coffee shop. I remember that the whole time I really needed to be sober and making a new lesson plan. But I stayed, thinking that I would miss something important if I left. I wrote this kind of quickly the next day so that I would remember everything. I should have turned off the caps lock.

WON APPROACHED ME ON THE PATIO AT THE ONLY STARBUCKS IN CHEONAN WITH 3 BEERS AND AN ENGINEERING STUDENT. THEY SAT WITH ME AND WE DRANK.

WON SAID MY NAME WAS TOO DIFFICULT. HE WOULD, HE SAID, CALL ME WON. HE SAID HE TEACHES INVESTMENT. AND THAT IN AMERICA, HE HAD 15 JOBS IN 2 YEARS.

HE TOLD THE POOR SHY ENGINEER TO BE HIS STENOGRAPHER. THEN CALLED HIS POOR SHY GIRLFRIEND CONSERVATIVE. HE APOLOGIZED. HE CAN, HE EXPLAINED, BE BEAUROCRATIC AT TIMES.

WON SAID SOMETHING TO THE ENGINEER WHO THEN WHISPERED SOMETHING TO HIS GIRLFRIEND. SHE GAVE HIM MONEY. THE ENGINEER LEFT AND CAME BACK WITH MORE BEER.

WE CAUGHT WON WALKING AROUND THE COFFEESHOP. HE WAS TALKING TO A FAT WHITE LADY. HE CAME BACK AND SAID THAT SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL. I DISAGREED. HE TOLD ME THAT I WASN'T EITHER. I TOLD WON TO FUCK HIMSELF.

WON'S WIFE CAME TO GET HIM. SHE HONKED IN THE BUSY STREET AND HE GESTURED FOR HER TO KEEP DRIVING. HE SAID SHE DOESN'T LIKE FOR HIM TO DRINK BECAUSE HE COMES HOME SINGING.

WON MADE A GOVERNMENT WORKER SIT WITH US. HE PLAYED ALONG, SITTING AWKWARDLY, REFUSING OUR BEER. WON'S FRIEND VINCENT YOUNG FOUND US TOO. HE'S AN ARTIST AND HE WAS IN SOME WAY, AT SOME POINT, CONNECTED TO THE LOUVRE.

WON BECAME VISIBLY DRUNK. BEER WAS DRIPPING FROM HIS CHIN, LEAVING A CIRCLE OF WETNESS BETWEEN HIS NIPPLES.

HE BROUGHT VINCENT AND I TO DINNER. WE HAD TO PULL HIM OUT OF THE BUSY STREET AS HE TRIED TO GET A TAXI.

THE RESTAURANT SERVED US SMALL RAW FISH SLICED THIN. WE ATE IT, BONES AND ALL SITTING INDIAN STYLE ON THE TILE FLOOR. WE DRANK SOJU AND I TOASTED MY NEW BROTHERS.

WON BEGAN EMBARRASSING VINCENT - YELLING ABOUT THE JAPANESE, AND GETTING A YOUNG BOY'S PHONE NUMBER.

WON MOVED TO A TABLE OF DRUNK YOUNG MEN. VINCENT AND I SOON FOLLOWED. THE MEN DIDN'T SPEAK ENGLISH BUT ONE SAID I WAS HANDSOME. I TOLD HIM HE WAS AS WELL AND I GRABBED HIS CHEEK. HE SAID "NO TOUCHY FACE". I LIT A CIGARETTE AND WAITED FOR MY SOUP.

A MEMBER OF PARLIAMENT WALKED IN WITH HIS FAMILY. WE TOOK TURNS BOWING AND SHAKING HIS HAND. WON LEFT WITH A BOTTLE OF SOJU AND CAME BACK WITH THE REPRESENTATIVE WHO SAT WITH US ON THE TILE FLOOR. WON SAID, "WON JUNIOR, GIVE HIM YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS." AND I DID.

WITHOUT WARNING, WON'S LITTLE EYES BECAME SCARED AND SELF-RIGHTEOUS. HE DIRECTED HIS RAGE FIRST AT THE WAITRESS. THEN AT THE REPRESENTATIVE, WHO TOOK ON THE APPEARANCE OF A HOSTAGE.

WON FLIPPED OVER A TABLE. AND THEN ANOTHER. SOJU BOTTLES, PLATES AND SHOT GLASSES SHATTERED, SOUP SPILLED, RAW FISH AND KIMCHI SLAPPED AGAINST THE TILE FLOOR. RESTAURANT WORKERS RUSHED TO SAVE THE ELECTED OFFICIAL. I GRABBED MY BACKPACK AND RAN HOME LAUGHING DRUNK.

Dan Patrick

Thursday, October 23

The Real Obama

according to a bigot that writes for the Washington Times:

On the one hand, Barack Obama is a true wolf in sheep's clothing. On the outside, he's nice, pleasant, handsome, well-spoken, has cute little kids, dresses well, looks like someone we would all like to know. But underneath, he resembles an anti-American Marxist who believes the following:

-- Murdering innocent babies - through abortion - is an inalienable "right." (I think Adolf Hitler supported this same position.) That marriage should be redefined to include homosexual relationships. (Inner-city poverty rates correlate with no father in the home. Imagine what it will be with no mother in the home.)

-- It's more important to protect "wetlands" than it is to protect your family and America's industrial might.

-- "Global warming" is a bigger threat than crime, drugs, pornography, unwed mothers and immorality at all levels.

-- We torture our prisoners of war but our enemies don't. (We don't torture our prisoners, unless you consider playing profanity-laced rap music really loud to be torture; and making enemy combatants wear underwear on their heads is merely how some college-age frat boys normally behave.)

-- The United Nations is a better form of government than our own. (And we should even care what the opinions are among the 75 percent of U.N. member-countries who do not have democratically-elected governments ... and are smaller than some of our national parks.)

--"Education" is the most important thing for our children. (And, of course, everyone believes this, but as we all know, the left has such a strangle-hold on our K-12 educational system and universities that it's just a pro-gay/anti-America breeding ground for producing more Democratic voters.)

-- Mr. Obama's claims for bipartisanship are only demands that Republicans compromise on their principles to side with Democrats. (Have you ever seen Democrat compromise his/her values to show bipartisanship with Republicans?)

-- "Liberation theology" is a genuine religion. (When we all know it is leftist "religious-speak" for anti-American "community organizing" in Third World countries.)

-- Jesus was a "community organizer" (like Mr. Obama), and that Pontius Pilate was a "governor" (like Mrs. Palin). (When we all know that Jesus is God and Pilate was a dictator-appointed governor from Rome, not an elected official.)

Now is the time to focus on ideology! And now is the time for everyone to vote in the candidates who support our ideology - at all levels of government.

Wednesday, October 22

El Rancho, etc.

Costume ideas

me: i felt bad because i didn't pay at the pub or for the cab
Jung: u took the same cab as us
?
me: we were kissing and shit in the back of the car
Jung: oh god i hope i wasnt being inappropriate. i get that way when im drunk.
shutup
tell me your kidding
me: wayne saw us at some point
Jung: ARE YOU KIDDING ME
i asked him if i did anything bad and he said no
i am asking you
me: ummm
Jung: tell me now
me: i said the truth
shit i had no idea that you didnt remember
i feel like i should have lied
Jung: kissing or making out
me: kissing
it wasnt intimate or anything
Jung: no its not ok
me: sorry
Jung: did we open our mouth.
me: i really dont know
Jung: lie
me: would it make a difference
Jung: yes
me: wayne should have prepped me for this
Jung: he told me he didnt think u rememebred
either
me: yeah we were all faded
so what are you gonna be for halloween?
Jung: i dont know

The death that existed inside of me

Carolyn sent me this link in response to that Korean colon cleansing infomercial that I posted a few days ago. This shit is wild. Like it makes me feel like poo texts are for pussies.

Ahh skeet skeet

I was waiting to get in on a basketball game yesterday and some kids started talking to me about American rappers. I found out that Lil' Wayne is huge here and that they don't give a shit about Kanye. Kind of like back home. They asked me if I knew Wayne, which is funny because when I would substitute in Baton Rouge the elementary school kids would ask me the exact same question. They kept saying this word that sounded like "tung" that they'd heard in rap songs. I realized eventually that the word they were trying to say was "thug". I told them to use the word to describe your boy when he does something cool or someone that might kill you. One of them said that he wants to get a grill.

Oh, but we go out at night

They really are so good. I wish I could be there tonight.

Tuesday, October 21

North Korea

They never made the announcement yesterday. Teachers at my school have been saying that the country might be about to adopt some kind of Chinese-style capitalism.

From the Impudent Observer:

Any attempt to determine what is happening at the government level in North Korea is an adventure in speculation and mystery. There are reports that some sort of “an announcement of important information will be made on October 20.” Rumors concerning the meaning of the announcement range anywhere from the illness of North Korean leader Kim Jong-il to a possible military coup to take over the government. Or, it can be nothing more than an announcement about Kim Jong-il visiting a flower plant. North Korean diplomats reportedly have been told not to leave their posts and await news from the homeland.

Shameful

1.) The Cheonan Office of Education called the school just now while I was teaching and said that my paperwork couldn't be finished and that they're sending someone here Friday to interview me. They of course didn't say what kept them from finishing my paperwork or what they need to interview me about. I was told that I'll need to wear fancy clothes for the interview.

2.) I got in trouble this morning for not bringing a bag to school. Apparently it's embarrassing for me to arrive at or leave school without a satchel of some sort. I usually bring my computer to school but today I didn't need it. And I even thought about bringing an empty bag but that seemed stupid. I'm also shaming Sindang High because the sandals I wear while I'm at school are only supposed to be used by visitors (everyone has to wear sandals inside). At least I can be sure that half of this is completely false, because that's the way everything goes here.

3.) I wonder if Kim would get bummed out if Matt told her that she had to bring her drums to the show when she was planning on just borrowing some from the black dude in the Death Set when she got there.

Monday, October 20

Obama! Ayers!

What the fuck? This isn't just one of those "I can take a joke" things. They're mocking everything about her while she dances like an idiot.



This is what came up first when I looked up the last video. I don't know why but it makes me miss home.

I'm so fine

Shit is blowin' up in K-town.

Our Dear Leader

The North Korean government has announced that they will be making changes. No one knows what these changes are or to what they will be made. They're supposed to explain sometime today.

Also, people have been saying that it's relatively easy to get in to North Korea from the south. I'm trying to plan a trip with a Canadian guy that teaches in town.

Sunday, October 19

Things




October Findings

A neurologist was developing a portable nasal spray with which soldiers can treat their own brain traumas, post-traumatic stress disorder victims were found to suffer a 5 to 10 percent loss of gray brain matter, and ecologists in Wales feared an invasion by carnivorous nocturnal blade-toothed eyeless ghost slugs. Scientists who designed a computer model of a street full of drunk Welshmen concluded that fights break out on nightlife-heavy streets because staggering drunks impede and thereby irritate other people. Men’s beer goggles remain in place for up to twenty-four hours after they stop drinking, and men’s testosterone levels rise in the presence of a woman, in preparation for mating, regardless of whether they find the woman attractive. Economists established that American women start out life happier than American men but die sadder, and that the men overtake the women in happiness at age forty-eight. Male Mexican laborers in California were found to be twice as likely as their home-country counterparts to exchange sex for food, shelter, or money, and behaviorists found that making people feel poorer encourages them to buy lottery tickets. Feelings of powerlessness may lead to spending sprees. Western doctors were concerned about a growing demand for designer vaginas.
From the October 2008 Harper's Magazine

David Brooks

All of a sudden he has a huge boner for Obama:

Obama... grew up with an absent father and a peripatetic mother. “I learned long ago to distrust my childhood,” he wrote in “Dreams From My Father.” This is supposed to produce a politician with gaping personal needs and hidden wounds.

But over the past two years, Obama has never shown evidence of that. Instead, he has shown the same untroubled self-confidence day after day.

There has never been a moment when, at least in public, he seems gripped by inner turmoil. It’s not willpower or self-discipline he shows as much as an organized unconscious. Through some deep, bottom-up process, he has developed strategies for equanimity, and now he’s become a homeostasis machine.

When Bob Schieffer asked him tough questions during the debate Wednesday night, he would step back and describe the broader situation. When John McCain would hit him with some critique — even about fetuses being left to die on a table — he would smile in amusement at the political game they were playing. At every challenging moment,his instinct was to self-remove and establish an observer’s perspective.

Through the debate, he was reassuring and self-composed. McCain, an experienced old hand, would blink furiously over the tension of the moment, but Obama didn’t reveal even unconscious signs of nervousness. There was no hint of an unwanted feeling.

They say we are products of our environments, but Obama, the sojourner, seems to go through various situations without being overly touched by them. Over the past two years, he has been the subject of nearly unparalleled public worship, but far from getting drunk on it, he has become less grandiloquent as the campaign has gone along.
And here's what the asshole was saying back in June, exposing Obama's opportunistic alter ego:

Back when he was in the Illinois State Senate, Dr. Barack could have taken positions on politically uncomfortable issues. But Fast Eddie Obama voted “present” nearly 130 times. From time to time, he threw his voting power under the truck.

Dr. Barack said he could no more disown the Rev. Jeremiah Wright than disown his own grandmother. Then the political costs of Rev. Wright escalated and Fast Eddie Obama threw Wright under the truck.

Dr. Barack could have been a workhorse senator. But primary candidates don’t do tough votes, so Fast Eddie Obama threw the workhorse duties under the truck.

Dr. Barack could have changed the way presidential campaigning works. John McCain offered to have a series of extended town-hall meetings around the country. But favored candidates don’t go in for unscripted free-range conversations. Fast Eddie Obama threw the new-politics mantra under the truck.

I hate America

Saturday, October 18

Independence Hall

Friday we went on a fieldtrip to the outskirts of Cheonan to see this huge hall that was built to remind Koreans how badly they were fucked by Japan. I mostly ate ice cream and tried to keep my students from fighting groups of Japanese tourists. I don't know how to post pictures in chronological order:

Read her shirt. I don't get it.




These are middle school girls. They made me feel like a celebrity and a pedophile.






These little kids were getting fed like baby birds. Mr. Kim tried to get in on it.



I think this is my favorite picture of the day. I'm not sure who took it.


The other teachers kept asking him if he thought he was going on a safari.


They're playing rock paper scissors to see who gets thrown in the Japanese prison chamber. There is no best out of three in Korea.

They threw my co-teacher in too.

She was appalled. But I explained that water torture is technically only an advanced interrogation technique.



The kid in the gray sweater gets really angry when you say he looks like a North Korean.

These fish are huge. They come to the surface and open their mouths when people clap.

They're always hitting eachother. The one that gets hit usually doesn't retaliate.


The hall is in the mountains. When we got there it was too foggy to see anything.

This monument is supposed to have been inspired by the image of two hands touching palm to palm. I don't know what that has to do with liberation.


This kid is my favorite. After him and his friends followed a group of Japanese high school students around for a while, they went out to the parking lot and called my co-teacher to say that they were cooking some pork that they brought from home. I think that was a lie. But they ate something and got in a fight. My co-teacher says she's going to beat them on Monday.